That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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