I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
