I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Randomize
