So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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