she looked like the before picture.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
