cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
