you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
