Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Vodka?
Forever.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
