If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
