I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
