to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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