i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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