her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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