They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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