Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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