You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
