We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
It's Friday. Sex?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
