I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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