I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize