Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
