My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
