Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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