I think i sorta joined a cult last night
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
it was like eating out sand paper
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
