i may or may not be watching the land before time
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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