Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
