So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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