I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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