Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
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