we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
