nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
