Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
