in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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