Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
