my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
