just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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