I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
