Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
