I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
