honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
