There was a lot of him and a little penis
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
