matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
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Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
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We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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