Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize