so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
