How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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