my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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