the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
