we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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