I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
