btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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