just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
