He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize