All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
