Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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