The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
