the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
