Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize