And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
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