They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
