I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize