Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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