her vagine was all disorganized.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
i've created a new STD.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
