ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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