Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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