Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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