I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
