I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
