Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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