Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
we made out on top of his cat.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
