Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
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and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
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I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
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