I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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