we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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