he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
