Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
