I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
