This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
