I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize