dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I think weed is turning my hair brown
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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