I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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