i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
