lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
