This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
